Everybody has an energy that radiates through them. These energies can be positive vibes or negative vibes
You can meet people who are full of positive energy; you notice positive effects, so much boldness, high self-esteem, confidence, and abundance.
And sometimes we meet people who are negatively energized: and all they want to do is resist, resent, sabotage, or threaten any slight possibility of your personal growth. Like they release pheromones to manipulate you to do their bidding.
All they want to do is mess with your head, and bend you like barbed wire so you can always be at their beck and call. They just want to paddle your life and stay in control of you.
It is always best if you delete such people from your life. Some of us literally have to deal with them on a daily basis.
So how do you deal with toxic people?
If you must handle such a toxic person, you have to understand how you are affected, and very soon you might as well become just like them.
Their toxicity traits are contagious and can affect you negatively. This makes it very dangerous and is why removing them from your life is just the best offer on the table.
So, understand your tolerance point, you’ll have to determine when you need to stay away from people or totally cut them off. It’s your own life; you determine what should happen in it.
Being able to spot any of these infectious signs is the first step to minimizing their impact. Here are a few signs of really toxic people:
They want to control you
Staying in control and ahead of you is how they manipulate you because they’re never in control of their own lives.
They are they the intruders that will invade your space and erode your boundaries, just to control you for their own selfish gains.
But they are not tolerant when another toxic person disregards and violates their personal boundary, let’s just say the golden rule doesn’t apply to them.
They are selfish
Selfishness is their second key trait, all they consider is themselves. When your relationship is centered on selfishness, it is becoming toxic. They always want to receive all the attention, care, and love as long as you’re willing to give it to them. This selfishness comes with high expectations, always expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you.
Even God gave us a choice and seeks our opinion. Because every relationship should never be one-sided. Sometimes you may need a hand of help, and sometimes your friend does, but in the end, it usually evens out.
They are never wrong.
With them there’s never a case to be wrong, they always want to be right and cannot be wrong even when it’s obvious they could be wrong. They will always argue their point; always ready to balance their reasons to why they are right until you give up out of exhaustion.
They live in the world of me and are often disappointed when they are not the center of the universe.
They always want to play the victim
They whine almost about everything just to be at the center of everything. They will find ways to cause a stir, and look oppressed and victimized, in ways that clearly seem not. Just to get pity and take the spotlight again.
At the same time dish out blame for the ruckus they caused. It’s always as if drama follows them wherever they go.
They never take responsibilities
Part of having to play the victim is their self-defense against taking responsibility for their actions.
This list goes on and on. You just have to watch how they treat others because they’re not nice, unless it serves them a purpose (if you’re useful, or they want something from you, they can be really charming and a real darling).
How to handle a toxic person?
Be Kind
Just because someone is rude, aggressive and deceitful or a liar shouldn’t make you take advantage of that to do the same. When you try to retaliate, you’ll definitely end up being like them; of course, there won’t be much difference. Hence, you should stand on your standards and let people see them for what you truly are.
Restate your boundaries
Most times we don’t know when we lose ourselves by being under the influence of a toxic person. Establish firm and healthy boundaries and don’t feel guilty about it, because they’re relentless in the pursuit of their selfish gains and they don’t regard who gets hurt along the way.
Setting boundaries are generally needful but they become more important if you are dealing with a toxic person.
When you poorly define your boundaries, you often become easy prey, a target; definitely, they will often take advantage of you and erode your boundaries for their gains.
Just learn to work out what is important to you and make sure you bulge it.
Be Firm
They don’t accept boundaries, because they want their own way at all costs, so be prepared to stand firm and on your ground when dealing with a toxic person in your life.
If you’re not giving in to what they want, they’ll try all physical and emotional tactics to get through it, just be prepared, observe and stand firm on your decision.
Be Positive
Nothing drains the energy of being around someone who always has something negative to say, full of criticism, is fault-finding, judgmental, or is generally toxic. One of the best tips is to focus on yourself and stay in the moment.
When you focus on what’s happening now, it’s much more difficult to focus on the negative energy or toxic reaction from the person.
Just to remind you, most of another’s negativity or toxicity isn’t all about you. So it is much healthier not to take every negative word or action personally or you will find yourself drawn into their toxic web.
I have learned that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. When I feel like I’m choking, stuck, or losing control in a toxic relationship, and cannot change the whole situation, walking away is perfect for me.
Walk away
Trying to mend, or fix a person because they’re toxic, or clean up their mess is often chaotic and you’ll just get dirty. At the end of the day, you might need to end your relationship with the person.
If someone is really affecting your mental, and physical health and well-being with negativity, please END it and move on because the battle they’re fighting isn’t with you but within them.
Of course, letting go of people can be very painful particularly if you have a long history with the person and have so much in your heart but in the case of toxic people, short-term pain is preferably better than long-term pain.
Sometimes, walking away has nothing to do with being weak or a coward rather it has everything to do with strength and courage. We walk away when we have reminded ourselves of our self-worth and have finally realized it.
Ok, that’s it…
In the end, you should realize, it’s your life and you have the right to live it happily. Always pay attention to whom your energy increases or decreases around because that’s the universe giving you hints on who you should embrace or stay away from. You don’t EVER owe anybody any explanation for taking care of yourself.
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