Sometimes, self-esteem is regarded as a myth because nobody understands the truth about it. But, the truth I know about self-esteem is that it’s obtainable and it involves realizing your self-worth.
Whatever you think you’re worth determines what you feel about yourself and how you feel about yourself. Whether you think highly of yourself, lowly, or in-between that’s how your self-esteem ranks too. It’s never about how others perceive you to be.
Self-esteem is never constant- it’s like a fluid that maintains the shape of a container- however you want it to be, depends on how you position yourself.
It’s constantly changing and it’s influenced by the world around you. The events and challenges you face daily, the people who surround you, and the media you consume all impact the way you view yourself.
Self-esteem comes from the inside of you. Self-esteem is your relationship with yourself, others are not living in your mind, and it’s just you, so make it a positive place to be.
Achieving self-esteem is simple; you must love yourself. When you commit to being kind and gentle with yourself your self-esteem skyrockets. It also helps you become more compassionate and kind in the world you live in. Take time to evaluate what makes you feel happy, gives you pleasure, or a sense of peace. Invest in self-care, because it will help empower your capacity to live more authentically, which is a huge component of self-esteem. You can’t be your best self if you put everyone else’s needs before yours all the time.
To be able to improve your self-esteem, you need to acknowledge the lack of it in certain areas of your life. I did notice mine at some point in my life. Whenever self-esteem drops, anxiety and loneliness start.
How do you boost your self-esteem?
When it comes to your self-esteem, only one opinion truly matters — your own. The tiny things we do for ourselves, just to lift ourselves and feel comfortable being who we truly are, not who others make us appear.
Girl, learn to show you some love, I mean real love. Pampering yourself, and practicing some self-care moments is the best and simple method to spike your esteem positively. Take out time to talk to yourself and anytime you feel down just tell yourself that you’re enough.
Sometimes in my class (back in the university), when nobody thought I made sense enough, I didn’t allow their actions to drop me an inch below the level I don’t belong. I told myself, “Mma, everybody mustn’t like you and it is so impossible to always have a good conversation with everybody and it doesn’t mean I’m not interesting or that am not making sense”.
Knowing your self-worth goes to save you from the stress of assimilating some negative words. You just block it at the entrance and shut the door at it.
Don’t compare yourself
Someone else may have tons of online friends or a “great” body. That’s great for them but remember they’re not you. Always remember, you too have one thing that they don’t have. That knowledge alone should make you not complain and help you stick to your lane.
Comparing makes you dive into an unnecessary negative mood which further takes a toll on your mental health and self-esteem.
When you compare, you find faults within yourself and strive for perfection, and try to live in another person’s body or life. And living in another body is negligence to yourself, which goes to reduce your self-worth and esteem.
Do things you love
Ok, I love writing, cooking and taking pictures, that’s what I love doing, what about you? Doing what you love always makes you feel in charge! And when you feel so bossed up and in charge, you feel so great about yourself. Boom! You’ll begin to feel a great sense of accomplishment and you’ll feel like you can do anything.
All these feelings are a result of you believing in yourself and having higher self-esteem. So make out time to celebrate the little things and you’ll always remain grateful and feel happy. Just don’t be arrogant about it.
Disconnect from some of your friends
Having to deal with mean and unreliable friends taught me- people aren’t often how they appear. So it’s that simple, it’s either you or them.
When the people around you don’t uplift you morally and believe in you, they’ll always make you feel worthless and that’s one of the painful effects of enduring or dealing with toxic people. It’s also the lowest form of self-esteem you can experience, which could lead to depression and even worse.
Cut off from them, or they cut you off from yourself.
Change what you can and leave the rest
Sometimes, I appear to be so casual over things, but that’s because I don’t struggle with things I know can’t be altered in life or about myself.
I talk with my tongue, and wanted to change that about myself but when I realized I couldn’t. I accepted it as something unique about me.
What is your low self-esteem about? Is it your weight, hair, skin condition, or health? Just do something about it, don’t just sit there complaining because you’ll just end up wallowing in misery. And that becomes the worst thing you can do to yourself. Change all you think you can and accept anything beyond your powers to change.
Be proud of who you are
It can be great to feel proud of who you are and where you come from. Nobody can do what you do; nobody can replace you because we all have our parts to play. Simply put; you are Irreplaceable. So be proud of yourself and understand your uniqueness.
When you face the greatest criticism from yourself, how do you want others not to criticize you?
Make it an everyday mission to remind yourself that:
- You don’t need to please other people and displease yourself.
- Whatever people say or do, you alone have the right to determine how you should feel about yourself.
- You have the power to respond to any event based on what you feel inside which is the reflection of your true value.
- Your value comes from inside, from an internal measure you’ve determined for yourself.
Once you live in consciousness; you understand, accept and love yourself. And you’ll reach a point where you’ll no longer depend on people, circumstances, or other external factors for your self-worth.
Recognize your worth and appreciate yourself for the effort and pains you’ve put in and endured to get here—as well as continue to maintain your self-understanding, self-acceptance, self-love, and self-worth.